Why would my brain do that to me?

So I had a crazy work dream last night. Usually, work dreams consist of the inane things I have to do. If work gets really stressful, I have work dreams.

Last night, however was a work dream of a completely different sort.

I was standing behind the counter at the coffee roaster, roasting coffee, helping customers, etc., when all of the sudden who should come up to the counter and ask about a pound of coffee but Hitler?
Hitler came to me looking for coffee. He asked a few questions, asked for a recommendation. And the oddest part was that it was totally casual. He was wearing a normal suit, like he was on his lunch break from his cubicle job at the office. Like, "okay, I'm here for some coffee to take home for the morning before I head back to work, which happens to be killing millions of Jews."

I don't remember exactly what kind of coffee he got, but I remember him leaving and me thinking, "Wow. What a low-key guy. That Hitler is really misunderstood."







Another dream I had from a few years back is equally crazy, and involved just as much introspection on my part. I was riding around in a car in the Coventry part of Cleveland with Bill Cosby. Just cruising, you know? And then, he asked me, "Hey, Jeff. You want some of this pot?"

And I remember being really conflicted. Because I'm not a pothead at all - I've never actually tried it. I'm not against other people using it, that's their own business - I've just never had the urge. But, unless he's offering you a part in Ghost Dad 2 (inside Tim joke), how do you say no to Bill Cosby?


And that's a question for the ages, my friends. How, exactly, do you say no to Bill Cosby?