A small collection of things.

This did not all happen in the order I'm telling it, just however I feel like it. Deal with it. Beyatch!


I just got done today with my two-day orientation/brainwashing at work. Two months after I was hired. Interesting strategy. My favorite phrase is "that's below the line." What this means is that, in terms of workplace appropriateness, there is a line that is used to determine what is appropriate workplace conversation/comments, etc., and what is not appropriate. What is appropriate is considered "above the line". Anything considered inappropriate is, obviously, "below the line". Thus, if someone says something you feel is inappropriate, you can just say, "that's below the line!" and the coworker will understand and stop discussing whatever they were discussing. It's also a lot of fun to say. "That's below the line!"

Things I've been into lately:
-----> Watching my Netflix DVDs. Last night Amy and I started watching "Sports Night". I also got to watch Tromeo and Juliet, which is probably the best Troma movie I've seen so far.
-----> I am still reading the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. I am currently on So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, the fourth out of five. My Hitchhiking experience will culminate with Mostly Harmless. And then it's on to...I don't know yet. Maybe Wigfield, which was written by Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello, or possibly All the President's Pets by Mo Rocca. Of course, I should get to reading Casino Royale before the movie comes out.
-----> Playing Lego Star Wars and Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy. These games are ridiculously entertaining. Whenever you blow something up, it all falls apart to Lego blocks. Everything, including all of the scenery and levels, are made of Lego Blocks, including the cutscenes. In the newer release, which covers the original three movies, there is a cut scene portraying the climax of The Empire Strikes Back, during which Darth Vader cuts off Luke Skywalker's hand and then reveals to him that he's his father. In the video game, there is no dialogue, because they're all Lego men, so when Darth Vader gestures that he is Luke's father, and Luke disbelieves him, rather than Darth Vader telling him that it's true, he whips out a picture of himself with Princess Amidala, Luke's mother. (If you laughed or someone around you laughed at that, you or whoever laughed is a complete nerd. It's a proven study. I laughed.)
-----> I finished watching my "Strangers With Candy" box set. Fucking amazing. As was the final season of "Arrested Development". Both of those shows lasted three seasons and were prematurely cancelled.


I went to get my hair cut this evening, and when I was sitting, awaiting my turn, an older, tall man wearing jean shorts, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and a large knee brace came in and sat down. The woman asked if he was getting a haircut, he said yes, and she asked him his name. Rather than say his name, he spelled it out. "S-H-A-W-N."
"Shawn?"
"Yes."
The woman laughed and said, "You know, you didn't have to spell it out for me..."
"Yeah, I did. There are, like, 30 ways to spell Shawn."
"Ha ha ha..."
"But there's only one right way."
No more laughter. Awkwardness at this point. And I should point out that at no point during this small exchange did Shawn laugh. He was dead serious. Would he have been offended if the woman had spelled his name wrong on the little paper she had that only detailed the order in which customers arrived and would inevitable throw away at the end of the night, never to be seen again? Would he, in fact, have been able to tell if the woman had spelled it Sean or Shaun or even Sion on her piece of paper when she called him when his turn was up?
"Okay, Sean, are you ready?"
"Uh, excuse me. My name is Shawn. Not Sean."
"That's what I said..."
"No. You said Sean. It's Shawn. This is completely unprofessional. I demand compensation."

When it was my turn, the other woman there asked me if I was ready, and then once over there, kind of whispered to me, "Can you believe that guy?"

Yes. I can believe that guy. Which points to the fact that I have little faith in the average human being. Or rather, American human being.