The benefits of cable television

One of the reasons I love cable is that you get to see commercials for local television ads. There are three in particular I've seen in the recent past that I'd like to explain.

1. This is for a local car dealership. It's shot in this weird black and white tone, and it's a guy and a girl talking about how much they'd like to buy your used car. However, the man has an acoustic guitar strapped around him. Now, in no way whatsoever does he refer to the guitar or make mention that he has one, or gestures with it. It's just supposed to be apparent that he digs the guitar.

2. The second one is from a local mattress salesman. In this one, the man uses his children as a cutesie factor. Unfortunately, any cutesiness has been completely removed for the simple fact that the man has superimposed his mouth over his children and is speaking for them. Except, he's not trying to sound like a toddler. He still sounds like a mid-40s white man. At one point, both children, a boy and a girl, sing the jingle. You see the mouths moving, and two instances of his voice singing the jingle in terrible unison. It's hilarious.

3. The third commercial is one I saw a while ago in Bowling Green, but that stuck with me ever since. It's presumably from a home alarm company, though the name is lost to me. It's a man singing while playing an acoustic guitar this hushed melody over scenes of breaking-and-enterings. Though I can't remember the entire lyrics to the song, I do remember one line, sung prettily with the acoustic guitar: "Someone could be iiin your house right now..." I laughed and laughed, but unfortunately never saw the ad again.

So please, local businesses, please keep making lame-brained, absurdist, disturbing television commercials for my amusement. If you're lucky, I may even remember the name of your company.