Okay, so I just saw one of those "smoking is bad" commercials. It's the one where they're in the diner with the snakes.
So the message is don't smoke or else the snakes will get you? I thought that was the plot to a sure-to-be-awful-even-though-it's-supposed-to-be-that-way movie?
I don't get it.
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i just couldn't help but notice that they were all the "red next to black is a friend of Jack" snakes. thusly, nonpoisonous and roughly as dangerous as a half a pack of cigarettes at the bottom of lake michigan. my commercial proposition?
Thick smoke fills the screen and this question, as a graphic, emerges: "Which person is safer?"
The smoke gives way to a split screen where on the left is the face and upper torso of a man on an airplane, slightly crowded and slightly glum. On the right is the face and upper torso of a woman of mythical/pornographical proportions walking down a slow country road without a car or house in sight.
The man holds up a cigarette and a lighter and looks around briefly, wondering if anyone would mind. The smiling woman holds up a cigarette and a lighter and considers lighting up.
The camera zooms out on both sides of the screen, revealing that the man is in a wheelchair and is therefore clearly at a disadvantage in life with little to no reason to go on living. The woman has a potbelly and is therefore clearly pregnant with every reason to sing.
The man puts his cigarette away. The woman lights up. He seems content, as does she.
An off-screen snake lunges at the man's head and bites off any distinguishable features, as the dying gimp slumps in his handi-chair.
The woman keeps walking.
Until an off-screen snake attacks her right leg, biting most of it off, leaving her lying helpless on the street when another snake instinctively pounces on her stomach and drags the lifeless fetus away, hanging from it's jaw.
The smoke reappears with another graphic: "No one's safe from these motherf*ckin' snakes! Smoke 'til you die, fatties!!!"
Fade to black.
I don't like snakes or smoking, I don't know how I can justify that pitch. Or do I?
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